"dude, it's gonna suck..."

I have a friend who constantly gives me trouble about how optimistic I am about things. For a while I didn't have a problem with that, I even thought that perhaps he was right; maybe I am too optimistic about things. Perhaps my view of the world is slightly too rose-colored. Recently, though, I went out of town for a while and spent a pretty long stretch of time away from this person. During that time I kept my "slightly too rose-colored" view of the world intact, and when I came back in town a funny thing happened.

The first day I was back I gave my friend a call, just to catch up. Eventually, the conversation turned to a movie that's going to be released in the coming year. The movie is based on one of my favorite books, and I was telling him how excited I was about it, how the trailer for the movie looked really promising, and that I was very much looking forward to the film's release. Little to my surprise his response was "dude, it's gonna suck." And then, of course, he proceeded to tell me how moronic I was being for getting so excited for something that was "so clearly going to suck", and how he couldn't understand why I didn't just accept his view of the matter. Up until this point, our conversation had been pretty much a duplicate of every other one we've ever had: me saying, "Hey, isn't this gonna be awesome?" him saying "Pshh no, it's stupid, and so are you for thinking otherwise," then ending with me saying "yeah, I guess you're right." This time, however, the ending was different. I didn't just agree with him and move on. I said "Listen, the trailer was amazing, and the director is WAY talented so I'm excited about it, and that's how I'm going to stay, because if I went through life thinking about how awful everything could potentially turn out, then I'd get pretty depressed, pretty quickly."

It was at that point that I realized something. So many people are so depressed--they take pills, they go to therapy and some of them get hypnotized to try and make themselves feel better, but usually it's only a quick fix. It's not because they're not buying the right pills, or seeing the right therapist. The reason that they're so depressed is because their view of the world has gotten so crappy that it becomes impossible for them to get excited about anything anymore, or to feel happy. While I have no doubt that, for some individuals, depression is triggered by some sort of chemical imbalance in their brain, I no longer am of the opinion that this is the source for all causes of depression.

When I started thinking about my friend, and the many other depressed individuals I know, I realized that there's nothing random about their depression. It wasn't unexpectedly triggered by something wrong in their brains. They became depressed when they decided that being negative about everything is easier. If you expect disappointment, then it's easier to deal with when it happens. And it's true. If you psyche yourself into believing that some day, everyone and every thing is going to disappoint you, then the disappointments that do happen will be a heck of a lot easier to deal with. That way of thinking, however quickly turns into a way of life. A very DANGEROUS one. When you get yourself in that mindset of constant negativity, then it becomes impossible to turn it off. You just "forget" how to be happy. A negative shade is cast upon everything in your life, even the good things.

I think that a lot of people would be a lot better off if they just looked at the brighter side of life more often. Bad things will happen. It's inevitable, and there isn't a thing that anyone can do to change that. Part of being a functional human being, though, is learning how to cope with those things in a healthy fashion.

For the people who just can't get past their problems, and can't seem to make themselves feel better (which I'd imagine is a lot of people), one of the best things to do is talk about it. I know that may sound like cliche advice, but it's true. See a therapist. It helps. Trust me, I know from experience. Just sharing your feelings with someone, and explaining how you feel and why you feel that way to someone who understands, or at least someone who will listen, will make you feel WORLDS better.